domingo, 23 de dezembro de 2007

Deus como programador informático

Q: What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs?
A: If a critical error occurs, the system pages him automatically and he logs on from home to try to bring it up.
Otherwise things can wait until tomorrow.

Q: Who is Satan?
A: Satan is an MIS (management information system) director who takes credit for more powers than he actually possesses, so people who aren't programmers are scared of him.
God thinks of him as irritating but irrelevant.

Q: What is the role of sinners?
A: Sinners are the people who find new and imaginative ways to mess up the system when God has made it idiot-proof.

Q: Where will I go after I die?
A: Onto a DAT tape.

Q: Will I be reincarnated?
A: Not unless there is a special need to recreate you. And searching those .tar files is a major hassle, so if there is a request for you, God will just say that the tape has been lost.

Q: Is God angry that we crucified him?
A: Let's just say he's not going to any more meetings if he can help it, because that last one with the twelve managers and the food turned out to be murder.

Q: How can I protect myself from evil?
A: Change your password every month and don't make it a name, a common word, or a date like your birthday.

Q: Some people claim they hear the voice of God. Is this true?
A: They are much more likely to receive email.

Mais revelações aqui (um teste carbono-14 datou estes escritos no remoto ano de 1995, mas não há consenso na comunidade científica, apesar da indicação no fundo da página).