domingo, 31 de dezembro de 2006


Fargo, Ethan Coen + Joel Coen

Fargo (1996), Ethan + Joel Coen

sábado, 30 de dezembro de 2006


Adolf Hitler

Adolf Hitler
autor desconhecido (alguém feliz)

sexta-feira, 29 de dezembro de 2006


Lewis Black

"I know what a neocon is. Someone who watches 'The Matrix' and believes it's real."

Red, White and Screwed (2006), Lewis Black

Isto a propósito desta notícia:

"Grand Canyon National Park is not permitted to give an official estimate of the geologic age of its principal feature, due to pressure from Bush administration appointees."

Trust your feelings

I am your father - Dolk

I am your father, Dolk

quinta-feira, 28 de dezembro de 2006


The Birds - Hitchcock

The Birds (1963), Alfred Hitchcock

quarta-feira, 27 de dezembro de 2006


"A short history of America..."

A Short History of America - Robert CrumbA Short History of America - Robert CrumbA Short History of America - Robert CrumbA Short History of America - Robert CrumbA Short History of America - Robert CrumbA Short History of America - Robert CrumbA Short History of America - Robert CrumbA Short History of America - Robert CrumbA Short History of America - Robert CrumbA Short History of America - Robert CrumbA Short History of America - Robert CrumbA Short History of America - Robert Crumb

A short history of America, Robert Crumb

terça-feira, 26 de dezembro de 2006


Oogie Boogie (Nightmare before Christmas) - Tim Burton

Oogie Boogie
Nightmare Before Christmas (1993), Tim Burton

sábado, 23 de dezembro de 2006

Sugestão de Natal

cuecas comestíveis

"Sensuous With Taste™"

... e certamente melhor do que oferecer meias (ou livros que ninguém lê).


Mefistófeles (Faust) - Friedrich Murnau

Faust (1926), Friedrich Murnau

sexta-feira, 22 de dezembro de 2006


Ophelia - William Rodgers

Ophelia (2003), William Rodgers

Há nesta Ofélia um abandono e tristeza que não encontro noutras representações.
A luz e o cenário, por desígnio do artista ou mera casualidade, colocam-a num palco. E no entanto — ou em parte também por isso —, não encontro outra que melhor isole e capte essa vertente da personagem. Não a tresloucada, debochada ou fantasmática (nada tenho contra essas, já agora...), mas apenas alguém que não foi correspondido no seu amor (a catatónica?).

quinta-feira, 21 de dezembro de 2006

Preemptive Strike

Llap-Goch - Monty Python [clique para ampliar]

in The Brand New Monty Python Papperbok(sic)


I'll make you a MASTER of LLAP-Goch, ...the Secret Welsh ART of SELF DEFENCE that requires NO INTELLIGENCE, STRENGTH or PHYSICAL courage.

The FANTASTIC SECRETS of the SECRET world-famous method of SELF DEFENCE, kept secret for centuries because of their DEADLY POWER to MAIM, KILL, SMASH, BATTER, FRACTURE, CRUSH, DISMEMBER, CRACK, DISEMBOWEL, CRIPPLE, SNAP and HARM are now revealed to YOU in the English Language by a LLAP-GOCH master AT HIS OWN RISK, PROVIDED you promise to MAIM, CRUSH, DISEMBOWEL and so on ONLY in SELF DEFENCE.
(This is just to cover ourselves, as you will understand.)

WHY "At his own risk"?
BECAUSE if his fellow masters of LLAP-GOCH DISCOVER his IDENTITY, they will PUNISH HIM SEVERELY for revealing the DEADLY secrets he had promised to keep SECRET, without giving them a piece of the ACTION, and also BECAUSE of the TERRIBLE risk of PUNISHMENT he runs under the Trades Description Act.

IT is THE most DEADLY form OF SECRET self-DEFENCE that HAS ever been widely advertised and available to EVERYONE.

Because THE most likely kind OF person TO answer THIS sort OF advertisement HAS less trouble under-STANDING words if they ARE written in BIG letters.

WHAT is LLAP-GOCH again?
It is an ANCIENT Welsh ART based on a BRILLIANTLY simple I-D-E-A, which is a SECRET. The best form of DEFENCE is ATTACK (Clausewitz) and the most VITAL element of ATTACK is SURPRISE (Oscar HAMMERstein).
Therefore, the BEST way to protect yourself AGAINST any ASSAILANT is to ATTACK him before he attacks YOU... Or BETTER... BEFORE the THOUGHT of doing so has EVEN OCCURRED TO HIM!!! SO YOU MAY BE ABLE TO RENDER YOUR ASSAILANT UNCONSCIOUS BEFORE he is EVEN aware of your very existence!

No longer need you feel WEAK, helpless, INDECISIVE, NOT fascinating and ASHAMED of your genital dimensions. No more need you be out-manoeuvred in political debate!! GOOD BYE HUMILIATION, wisecracking bullies, Karate experts, boxing champions, sarcastic vicars, traffic wardens; entire panzer divisions will melt to pulp as you master every situation without INADEQUACY. PROTECT YOUR LOVED ONES. You will no longer look pitiful and spotty to your GIRL FRIENDS when you leave some unsuspecting passerby looking like four tins of cat food! They will admire your MASTERY and DECISIVENESS and LACK OF INADEQUACY and will almost certainly let you put your HAND inside their BLOUSE out of sheer ADMIRATION. And after seeing more of your expert disabling they'll almost definately go to bed with you, although obviously we can't ABSOLUTELY guarantee this, still it's extremely likely and would make learning LLAP-GOCH really worthwhile although legally we can't PROMISE anything.

Why WELSH Art?
LLAP-GOCH was developed in Wales because for the average Welshman, the best prospects of achieving a reasonable standard of living lie with the acquisition of the most efficient techniques of armed robbery.

HOW do I learn?
No, you mean "How do YOU Learn". I know already.

HOW do You Learn?
You receive ABSOLUTELY FREE your own special personal LLAP-GOCH Picture Book with hundreds of PHOTOGRAPHS and just a very few plain, clear and simple, easy to understand words. Only a FOUR-SECOND WORK-OUT Each Day! And you will be ready to HARM people!


WHAT Does it Cost?
This, like LLAP-GOCH, is a SECRET but you will find out sooner or later, don't worry.



O.K. Hounourable Master, I accept your daring, hair-raising, mindboggling, blood-curdling, no-risk, half-price, free-trial offer to reveal the secrets of LLAP-GOCH in a plain wrapper at once. Yes Master, I never again want to be 'Weak In The Knees' and 'Chicken Out' and 'Wet My Pants' when insulted and attacked. I agree never to abuse the principles of LLAP-GOCH or consult a lawyer. I am over 4. I have an extra Y chromosome. Bill me later. I understand that if I am not completely satisfied I have been had.
NAME _________________ AGE __ ADDRESS _____________

CITY _______________ STATE ____________ ZIP _______

Please also enroll me under your special Car Insurance Scheme. I understand that I do not have to sign anything to make this completely binding to me."

quarta-feira, 20 de dezembro de 2006

Peter Callesen

Half Way Through(pormenor) - Peter Callesen [clique para ampliar]

Half Way Through (pormenor, 2006), Peter Callesen

terça-feira, 19 de dezembro de 2006


A Clockwork Orange

A Clockwork Orange (1971), Stanley Kubrick

"There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, Dim being really dim, and we sat in the Korova Milk Bar making up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening, a flip dark chill winter bastard though dry. The Korova Milk Bar was a milk-plus mesto, and you may, O my brothers, have forgotten what these mestos were like, things changing so skorry these days and everybody very quick to forget, newspapers not being read much neither. Well, what they sold there was milk plus something else. They had no license for selling liquor, but there was no law yet against prodding some of the new veshches which they used to put into the old moloko, so you could peet it with vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom or one or two other veshches which would give you a nice quiet horrorshow fifteen minutes admiring Bog And All His Holy Angels And Saints in your left shoe with lights bursting all over your mozg. Or you could peet milk with knives in it, as we used to say, and this would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of dirty twenty-to-one, and that was what we were peeting this evening I'm starting off the story with."

A Clockwork Orange (1962), Anthony Burgess

segunda-feira, 18 de dezembro de 2006

3ª idade

L'Hospice - Gilles Barbier [clique para ampliar]

L'Hospice (2002), Gilles Barbier

L'Hospice (pormenor) - Gilles Barbier [clique para ampliar]L'Hospice (pormenor) - Gilles Barbier [clique para ampliar]



"Greeley, n. - Someone who continually annoys you by continually apologizing for annoying you."

The Deeper Meaning of Liff, Douglas Adams + John Lloyd

domingo, 17 de dezembro de 2006


Satanás + Saddam - South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Trey Parker + Matt Stone

Satanás + Saddam Hussein
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999), Trey Parker + Matt Stone

sábado, 16 de dezembro de 2006


Lilith - Antone Bruinsma

Lilith, Antone Bruinsma

sexta-feira, 15 de dezembro de 2006


Take the Money and Run - Woody Allen

Virgil Starkwell
Take the Money and Run (1969), Woody Allen

"Narrator - In an effort to shed some light on this period of his life, we spoke with his father and mother.
They are ashamed of their son's criminal record and so wear disguises.

Mother - He was a good boy.
Father - Oh, come on. If he was a good boy, why are we wearing these? He's rotten! He's a gangster, that's what he is.
Mother - Oh! How can you say that! He was so bright... And he loved music.
Father - And he was an atheist. I tried to beat God into him. But he was too tough.
Mother - He was trying to get away from us and be independent and make his own life and be a human being on his own... You are a very dominating person.
Father - What?!
Mother - You are! And he was trying to find himself.
Father - Ok, look, I'll talk to you later about the whole thing."


Suehiro Maruo

in Midori, Suehiro Maruo

nota: As cores são da minha responsabilidade.

quinta-feira, 14 de dezembro de 2006

Blogues - subtítulos memoráveis I

"I’m just like you, only I’m interesting and my life isn’t devoid of meaning"

Violent Acres


Chopper, Andrew Dominik

Mark 'Chopper' Read
Chopper (2000), Andrew Dominik

quarta-feira, 13 de dezembro de 2006

Natal II

Fairytale of New York - The Pogues


They've got cars
Big as bars
They've got rivers of gold
But the wind goes
Right through you
It's no place for the old
When you first took my hand
On a cold Christmas Eve
You promised me
Broadway was waiting for me

You were handsome

You were pretty
Queen of New York City
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging,
All the drunks they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night


You're a bum
You're a punk

You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip
In that bed

You scumbag
You maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God
It's our last


I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you

I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you

The boys of the NYPD choir
Were singing 'Galway Bay'
And the bells were ringing
Out for Christmas Day"

Fairytale of New York (1987), The Pogues + Kirsty MacColl


Lady e Lord Macbeth

Lady e Lord Macbeth
(esq.) vitral do Elsinore Theatre, de Albert Gerlach
(dta.) cartaz de Wiktor Sadowski: Macbeth - Verdi

"Lady Macbeth:

The raven himself is hoarse [36]
That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan
Under my battlements. Come, you spirits
That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here,
And fill me from the crown to the toe top-full [40]
Of direst cruelty; make thick my blood,
Stop up th' access and passage to remorse,
That no compunctious visitings of nature
Shake my fell purpose, nor keep peace between
Th' effect and it! Come to my woman's breasts,
And take my milk for gall, you murd'ring ministers,
Wherever in your sightless substances
You wait on nature's mischief. Come thick night,
And pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell,
That my keen knife see not the wound it makes, [50]
Nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark,
To cry 'Hold, hold!'"

Macbeth (primeiro acto, quinta cena), William Shakespeare

36-8The... battlements, the raven itself, whose voice foretells disaster and death, would be so certain of death about to befall Duncan that it would croak itself hoarse.
38my. Should this be stressed?
38-9spirits... thoughts, evil spirits that wait to enter a human mind when that mind shows willingness to receive them.
Should Lady Macbeth pause before calling on the spirits? Should she kneel, stand or make any movement or gesture?
39mortal thoughts, (a) thoughts of death, (b) human thoughts. unsex me here. Harsh and forced.
41direst, bitterest, fiercest.
41-2make... remorse, curdle my blood so that the flow of vital spirits in it is stopped, and no messages may reach my heart to stir up pity.
43compunctious... nature, natural impulses of pity.
44fell, fierce, cruel.
44-5nor... it, nor put peace like a barrier between my purpose and its fulfilment.
46take... gall, (a) put gall in the place of my milk, or (b) drink my milk which turned to gall. Gall was thought to promote rage and malice. ministers, spirits.
48wait... mischief, further the unnatural horrors in nature.
49pall, wrap as in a corpse covering or as a robe for tragedy. dunnest, darkest.
50-2That... hold, Did Lady Macbeth intend to murder Duncan herself, or is this a fearful imagining of the murder of the sleeping Duncan in advance?
Is Macbeth's entry sudden, impressive, dignified, startling, breathless affectionate?
Should Lady Macbeth move or make any gesture—kneel or place her hands on his shoulders?

in Macbeth — The players' Shakespeare, editado por J. H. Walter (Heinemann Educational Books)

terça-feira, 12 de dezembro de 2006

Courbet revisitado

sem título - Tanja Ostojic [clique para ampliar]

s\t (2004), Tanja Ostojic

Encontrei esta foto enquanto procurava a do post anterior.
Não sei a que se deve a cueca europeia cobrindo a "origem do mundo", se está lá por uma mera questão de pudor ou por algum simbolismo que me escapa. Aquilo que sobressai na comparação, além do dito slip e do que fica por ver, é que modelos roliças hoje não se safam. Noutros tempos de pouca fartura, pouco havia como um pneu para atestar a condição social.
Outra coisa que me sugere o círculo de estrelas é uma vagina dentata. Mas se calhar sou só eu...

Actualização: hipótese nº1 (e última)
Depois de ver isto ...

sem título - Tanja Ostojic [clique para ampliar]

s\t, Tanja Ostojic | foto: Borut Krajnc

... talvez a cueca comunitária represente uma barreira à fruição do estado social(?) e do desenvolvimento económico europeu por desaventurados imigrantes que, oriundos de negras paragens — despojadas das vulvas necessárias à subsistência com dignidade —, e em busca de melhores dias, se deparam com barreiras desumanas e castradoras... e elásticas.


L'Origine du Monde - Gustave Courbet [clique para ampliar]

L'Origine du Monde (1866), Gustave Courbet

Aqui há uns anos ofereci, como prenda de aniversário, um livro a uma amiga — Coños, de Juan Manuel de Prada. Não tenho por hábito escrever dedicatórias, e perdi a oportunidade de o fazer naquela altura. Imediatamente após o entregar me apercebi do erro. Deveria ter escrito algo do género: "À cona desconhecida, bons olhos a vejam", já que ela vivia na altura com um amigo meu e seria, portanto, uma boa oportunidade de juntar um pequeno flirt com um sincero cumprimento fraterno.
Lamentável desleixo.


Benoît - C'est arrivé près de chez vous

C'est arrivé près de chez vous (1992), Rémy Belvaux

segunda-feira, 11 de dezembro de 2006

Ophelia reject

Camel cigarettes, girl in pool - Nickolas Muray [clique para ampliar]

Camel cigarettes, girl in pool (1936), Nickolas Muray


"Abilene, adj. - Descriptive of the pleasing coolness on the reverse side of the pillow."

The Deeper Meaning of Liff, Douglas Adams + John Lloyd


Evil Dead 2, Sam Raimi

Mão possuída
Evil Dead 2 (1987), Sam Raimi

domingo, 10 de dezembro de 2006

Rainha por um dia

Queen for a Day - Lisa Gray [clique para ampliar]

Queen for a Day (2005), Lisa Gray


Os quatro cavaleiros do apocalipse - Albrecht Duerer [clique para ampliar]

Morte, Fome, Guerra e Peste
Os Quatro Cavaleiros do Apocalipse (1497–1498), Albrecht Dürer

Natal I

Santa Claus has gone to war! Your gift: plenty of weapons

Cartaz americano da 2ª Guerra Mundial

sábado, 9 de dezembro de 2006

Momento "Eno" do dia

Rainer Werner Fassbinder


"Poderei dormir quando estiver morto", disse ele um dia. Em 38 anos de vida (1945-82) — 14 de trabalho (1969-82) —, este homem realizou 42 filmes, actuando nalguns deles. Trabalhou igualmente no teatro — onde começou a sua carreira, como dramaturgo e actor —, na rádio e na televisão. Li algures que teria estado envolvido, ao todo, em cerca de 60 obras (relembro: em 14 anos). Isto, por si só, seria mais do que razão para que fosse alvo do meu maior desprezo e do dos restantes ociosos e "desocupados do império" (não me recordo se dito pelo Watson ou pelo Holmes) que hipoteticamente lêem estas linhas (afinal, à data, só existem cerca de 55 milhões de blogues no mundo...). Mas se atendermos a que dentre essas obras se encontram A Saudade de Veronika Voss, As Lágrimas Amargas de Petra von Kant ou Querelle, para nomear algumas... bem, a azia torna-se epidémica.


gato Tobias


sexta-feira, 8 de dezembro de 2006


"Belladonna, n. - In italian a beautiful lady; in english a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues."

The Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce

Daisy, Daisy

HAL9000 - 2001, Stanley Kubrick

HAL 9000
2001 (1968), Stanley Kubrick

"Daisy, Daisy,
give me your answer do.
I'm half crazy,
all for the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,
but you'll look sweet
upon the seat
of a bicycle built for two..."

Foi esta a primeira música cantada por um computador (1962, a versão com acompanhamento). Serviria mais tarde de inspiração para a cena da "morte" do HAL 9000:

Stephen Hawking?

quinta-feira, 7 de dezembro de 2006


talhante - Delicatessen

Delicatessen (1991), Jean-Pierre Jeunet + Marc Caro

Visto escrito numa parede em Barcelona:

"Se as touradas são cultura, o canibalismo é gastronomia"


Little Boy Blue - Mark Ryden [clique para ampliar]

um adorável Nazi
Little Boy Blue (2001), Mark Ryden


Marlene e Petra - Die Bitteren Traenen der Petra von Kant

As lágrimas amargas de Petra von Kant (1972), Rainer W. Fassbinder

quarta-feira, 6 de dezembro de 2006



"Porque é que a intimidade do corpo nos chega sempre pelos buracos que temos na carne e na pele pelos buracos formados em mucosas que comodamente se centram nos encaixes dos ossos porque é que a intimidade do corpo germina sempre pelos mesmos sitios pelos mesmos orifícios por onde a realidade exterior nos entra pelo corpo adentro porque é que o corpo nos sai para fora exactamente por esses mesmos buracos em impetuosa atracção pela realidade de onde se calhar vem porque é que às vezes a intimidade do corpo nos faz esquecer a nossa própria intimidade, a que temos connosco, mas que de tão coalhada lá no fundo das nossas vísceras mentais acaba por nos azedar o hálito com que saudamos cada dia?
O que é que a nossa intimidade nos diz de nós próprios?"

in Bizarro Dizário, Paulo Condessa